i’m getting laser eye surgery. very excited to have laser eyes
a weak and tortured bucky making sure steve gets to safety first
It’s because Bucky has a habit of letting Steve go first.
1) Always let Steve go first up the stairs, so that you can keep an eye on him. It’s easier to count Steve’s breaths and notice when Steve’s heart does that thing that makes him stop and shake. Much easier to stop and pretend to tie your shoes while you wait, worried, than to realize 2 flights too late that Steve’s no longer with you.
Later: Your limbs are sore and numb from being strapped to a table for 2 days and you’re pretty sure you haven’t eaten and the entire base might be exploding, but when Steve says “let’s go up,” you tell him to go first.
2) Steve’s walk was mostly normal, though he swung his hips in a certain way to compensate for his scoliosis, and that put a special cadence to his stride that you unconsciously match. Even without Steve around you would twist your hip back before swinging your leg forward. Twist, swing, twist, swing.
Later: Steve is leading the way through the forest, and you’re finally used to his height and broad shoulders and that dumb shield, but something still feels wrong. Somehow your pace doesn’t quite match, and you can’t figure out why.
3) Colors don’t work the same with Steve, so always describe unfamiliar objects by their shape and relative location, like that square window past the third door on the left, or the man wearing that unseasonably long coat standing in the corner by the garbage can.
Later: The boys are singing in the other room and you’re at the bar with Steve, trying very hard to get drunk because of course you’ll follow Steve into whatever but that doesn’t mean you have to do it sober. “Steve,” you whisper, “Check out that lady by the door, next to that short thin guy who has his shirt open.” Steve looks over. “The one in the red dress? That’s Miss Carter.” You decide you need another drink.
4) When walking down a narrow dark alleyway always stay on the right, because Steve’s bad ear makes the right side feel blind to him (though damn if Steve’d ever admit that). On broad open streets, switch to Steve’s left side, so that Steve could hear you better through the noise.
Later: Dum-Dum gives you a weird look as you line up to charge into a Hydra base. “Why won’t you take the left flank for a change?” You start explaining Steve’s bad ear before you remember that he’s not that Steve any more, and that Captain America doesn’t have a bad ear.
5) Stuff in your left pockets are for Steve: the asthma cigarettes that Steve could never afford, a dime for that popcorn that Steve likes, tickets for whatever shindig you’re trying to drag Steve along to. Sometimes you put things there for Steve and totally forget about it, like extra paper and a spare pencil in case Steve wants to doodle. The left side always belongs to Steve.
Later: Steve is awfully quiet by the campfire. You sit down by his good ear and reach into your left pocket. “Hey,” you say, pulling out a news clipping about the war front that featured a lovely photo of Miss Carter. “You read this yet? They think Morita’s a Japanese defector, but the section on Dernier is priceless.”
Report on the Winter Soldier reset procedures
After the latest test run, only the following anomalies remain:
A) The asset tends to hug the right walls and not the left, and hesitates for 30 microseconds before climbing stairs. However, he does not hesitate when scaling walls or ladders.
B) When walking unopposed the asset has a characteristic and identifiable stride, which is dropped when he is making a covered approach.
C) The asset communicates via relative locations, often omitting crucial color information. However, he can be commanded to describe the colors of any object in impressive detail.
D) When dressing himself, the asset keeps his knives exclusively on his right side, and his left pockets are underutilized. This may be an effect of continued unfamiliarity with the new left arm.
After extensive field testing, we have determined that these anomalies do not impede the asset from completing his missions, and declare the reset process complete.
[basically the textual partner to the colorblindness comic]
Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein is not the monster.
Wisdom is knowing that Frankenstein is the monster.
Edward Scissorhands Issue #2 Variant
i was thinking, what if steve sleeptalks?
like, he and sam are in a hotel room (in the great bucky barnes search slash road trip), sleeping together (of course). the A/C kicks on, startling sam awake. steve rolls over, slings an arm around sam, mutters, “buck, tell mr. morello he needs to fix the stupid heater already, ‘m freezin,” and lets out a huge snore.
sam would be a little pissed off if it wasn’t heartbreaking. so he just pulls the covers up around steve’s shoulders and tries to lend steve some of his warmth.
sometimes, steve wakes sam up muttering about hydra, or repeating “bucky” or “natasha” or “sam” like a prayer. other times, he says nothing but nonsense: “goddamn ninja turtles, get out of my kitchen.” sam wakes up steve laughing and refuses to explain.
one night, steve falls asleep on sam’s chest while they’re watching hbo in another hotel room. sam’s being sappy, running his fingers through steve’s hair, when steve grabs a fistful of sam’s tshirt and snuggles in close. “watch out for the dragons, sam,” he says, pressing his face into the warmth of sam’s tshirt. “how do you always catch me?” steve mutters randomly, his nose crinkling.
"i don’t know, man," sam answers with a sigh, "but i don’t think you’re the one who’s falling, this time."
i am amazed that something i typed into my ipod when i was lying in bed half-asleep at like 2AM got over two notes lol. but i am trying to cheer myself up, so here’s a part 2:
of course, when they find barnes, it all ends. no more warm, too-small hotel beds. no more hands worming their way around sam in the middle of the night. no more sleep, if sam’s being honest with himself. sam opens his home to steve and his amnesiac assassin best friend, but steve closes his bed to sam.
for some reason, steve has some fool idea in his head that sharing a room with bucky will help him regain his memories — and barnes seems to feel safer with steve at his back each night.
"your guest room is the same size as our first apartment," steve shrugs, and sam just laughs and admits, "mine, too."
sam can’t sleep, though, even when he lays his pillow on the floor. he stares up at the ceiling for what feels like hours. finally, he gives sleep up as a lost cause, and heads to the kitchen for some hot chocolate.
barnes walks in a half hour later, his hair a mess, steve’s baggy sweatpants falling off his hips, and stops in the kitchen doorway. sam looks up.
"steve won’t shut up for ten minutes and let me rest," bucky mutters, crossing his arms. "keeps talking about you in his sleep."
sam snorts. “he used to talk like you were there, back in the day. ask me to get the heater fixed or something.” bucky frowns.
"i think he’s having nightmares," bucky tells sam cautiously, feeling out the situation. "about you, i mean." like clockwork, he hears something like a shout from the open door of steve and bucky’s room. sam gets to his feet.
bucky follows sam to steve’s side. he’s lying in a tangled mess of sheets, muttering, “sam — sam, deploy parachute — i can’t reach —”
sam kneels beside the bed and says softly, “steve. you’re dreaming. i’m here.” steve startles awake, going into a defensive stance, but he stands down as soon as he sees sam in the half-light.
"sam," steve says weakly, reaching out.
"i’m here," sam whispers. he lets steve take him into his arms and hold him for a few moments. "alright, alright, you’re crushing me," sam says with a sad smile. sleepily, steve grins.
"sorry," he yawns.
"alright," sam says gently, "let’s get you to bed." he untangles steve from the sheets and crawls into bed next to him, covering them both with the comforter. sam loops an arm around steve, who clasps his hand over sam’s.
sam’s half asleep himself when he sees barnes sill hovering in the doorway, given away by the streetlamp outside the window shining on his arm.
"come on," sam says, patting the bed. he scoots himself and the heavy, soundly sleeping lug that is steve rogers aside to make room for barnes.
bucky crawls into the bed, tensing when steve automatically reaches out to pull him in. sam watches through lidded eyes as bucky relaxes into steve’s touch.
before sam knows it, they’re all fast asleep.
Now that was an OT3 I should have expected but didn’t…
<3 <3 <3
I seriously could read about 1000 stories of these guys just ending up in bed together, just to sleep.
(Well and to do other things TOO but I don’t think that is surprising in any way.)
Can we talk about how Diana literally picks Barry up and carries him in celebration?
Wonder Woman don’t care. Wonder Woman do what she want. She don’t give no shit.
i like how barry gives no shits. he just goes with it, even throws his arm around her. like, if he’s just been waiting for an exceptionally large badass woman to pick him up bridal style, and carry him.
I’d imagine it’s an honor to be carried by Wonder Woman.